Tuesday, November 24, 2015
One of the types of people I find myself hard to cooperate with is people who are very sensitive hahaha. You see, i'm a very hyper person who gets a little too excited sometimes that I tend to say things without thinking and unfortunately, those things aren't usually good things. I'd try to be funny and make up hambar jokes and sometimes without realizing, I'd offend them. I don't like hurting people so I'd back away from those types of people slowly because I don't want them to get hurt by my words, you know?
There's a friend of mine, oh um she's actually my bedmate haha and she's very sensitive. She's not good at hiding her feelings very well so it was really obvious that she was offended by my words the other day. I feel so bad and I wanted to cheer her up but I was scared of hurting her again so I always ended up carefully sending a text message apologizing to her because I don't want her to see my face and get disgusted by it. She's really, really nice and she shared lots of her secrets with me and I do want to be her friend but it's just that.. I am not myself when i'm with her. I get quiet and i'd plan my words before I speak them out.
To be frank, I don't know if I am okay with myself being that way. Because I want to be myself and at the same time, I don't wanna hurt her. Haih, these are the times when I have to make a decision which sucks because apparently I, Izyan Farhah Bt. Shahzan Nizar have always had difficulties making up my mind. Maybe I should start changing myself for the better. In that way, perhaps more people would love being friends with me (lmao). Such a typical teenage dilemma!