Monday, November 23, 2015
I don't know if words can ever be the medium to fathom how much I miss you, because no matter how many times it escapes my lips, written by the tips on my fingers on a paper, it'll never feel enough. It's never enough to make you feel the same way. Never enough to prove you how much i'm worth, how real i'd be this time. Never enough to show how much risk of hurting myself i'm taking, just for the sake of getting you back. I'm doing so much yet still constantly failing tho I still look for the littlest mistake I could have done, thinking where could I have gone wrong? You don't know how my heart aches everytime someone mentions your name. And everytime they do, I'd pull the worried look on my face. I'd glance away to distract myself from the memories of us both just so I can stop the tears from gleaming. I'd have to erase our moments together just so I can pretend like i'm happy again. It wasn't easy. I lost myself while in the way of finding you. But you didn't want to be found. So I lost both myself, and you.
Oh baby I'd still risk losing myself again and you won't even notice. I'd risk everything again and again and you won't even care.
Maybe I did love you, but surely you didn't.